Main Mystic
The Scientology Abyss
“You can’t convince a believer of anything; for their belief is not based on evidence, it’s based on a deep seated need to believe.” — Carl Sagan
It was late 1971, and I was not a happy camper. I had been searching for a spiritual path for a couple years, but nothing was clicking. In Austin, TX at this time there was a chapter for about every path, practice, persuasion, system, etc. that you could think of. And I had checked a lot of them out, to no avail. Until this one day when one of them actually pushed itself upon me.
At the time I was going to the University of Texas, methodically attempting to get some kind of college education. But a lot of the time my heart was just not into it. The world did not seem real to me, and I was searching for something more. Clarity? Truth? Honesty? Reality? I just didn’t get it and was thinking there was something wrong with me.
One day I was walking across the street just off campus on the main drag. A guy came up to me and stuck some kind of brochure in my face. I looked at him and then at the store front right behind him. Scientology. The brochure was about a book called Dianetics. I had heard of the book, but didn’t really know much about it. I had seen the storefront before, but hadn’t given it much thought. He talked to me and led me into the store. I was feeling a bit tired and just halfway listened to what he said. Somehow I wound up taking one of their tests, along with an E-meter reading someone gave me.
A Way In Up & Out
“A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself. The one produces aspiration; the other ambition, which is the way in which a vulgar man aspires.” — Marcus Aurelius
What about you? Do you have ambitions or aspirations?
When I was about ten years old I remember having an identity crisis. You may ask, how can one so young have anything that seems too serious going on, as if some type of existential crisis? I doubt from where I’m looking at it now, that it was actually too serious. But of course at the time it seemed so. Yet I do believe to this day that it set me on a course that led me to where I am today. And for me, that is important.
We only have moments as they are played out in our life, for the past is only a memory, and the future is only a hope, a dream, or a fear. But I think in those ‘important’ moments is where we set the sails for our life’s destiny. And that moment at ten was one of those ‘important’ moments. I don’t consciously remember how I comprehended that moment, but for the most part I do remember how I felt. And that is where I think the journey I am currently on actually started.
Letting Go & Getting Up
“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached.” — Simone Weil
Isn’t it fun, interesting, sad, intriguing, and on and on, about all the stuff we get to see, do, have, play with, experience in this crazy world … and eventually have to let go of? Eventually? Really? Aahh, we really have to let go of all that stuff, and all those people? But why? Why? I need it. I want it … no, no. I think I’m gonna cry. Ah yes, another sad song on the radio, about that stuff, and all those people, I just keep losing.
Life is sad. Life is happy. Life is nothing. Life is everything. Life is lots of things in between. Always. But we all know that, right? Yet doesn’t this simulation of life we all live in seem but a shadow of what it really seems it could be? Can that really be true? I think so, but you may not get to know unless …
All types of things and people come in and out of lives continually. And we have a tendency to want to keep everything we can, based on what we think we want or need. And over time we become attached to many of these items, as well as the people. We get used to them and feel they provide some type of comfort, happiness, and security. But do we really need them? We may want them, but what is behind the wanting of them?
Spiritual Big Shots
“The West has become a heaven for spiritual charlatans … without the guidelines and criteria of a thriving and full-fledged wisdom culture, the authenticity of so-called “Masters” is almost impossible to establish.” — Sogyal Rinpoche
Have you noticed how many people these days boast about some type of spiritual, self help, or self improvement type of system or program they are selling? And of course, how great they are, and how great their program will make you. Hhhmmm, yes indeed, you probably do detect a note of skepticism in my point of view here. I certainly do pride such skepticism as an ingredient to a healthy attitude, as long it does not get in the way of anyone’s ongoing progress.
Yes, our ongoing progress. Now, how does that work exactly? Exactly, is exactly the word. Meaning there is no perfection, no exactness, no wonderfully magic formula to spiritual growth and progress. No matter what all the spiritually self-important big shots say.
When I first began searching for a spiritual path, system, whatever, in my late teens I felt somewhat desperate. But I realized early on not to make such an important decision while in a hyper emotional state. Calm, relaxed, and focused discernment I felt would serve me better, even if not always easy to accomplish. So, I did not take the first spiritual prescription that happened along. My search wound up taking over four years, which granted is not very long in the span of a lifetime, but when you are young, impatient, and almost frantic, it sure seemed like it.
Altitude & Attitude - An Answer?
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” — Abraham Lincoln
An answer? An answer to what, you might say. Well first, let’s get some definitions out of the way, and see if any kind of answer is the right approach here.
1. Altitude is defined as a distance elevation or an angular measurement, mostly in a vertical or up direction, between a reference point and another point or object, usually based in a particular context, such as aviation, astronomy, geographical, geometry, or sports, and commonly used as the location height above sea level.
2. Attitude is defined usually in aeronautical, artistic, or psychological terms. In aviation, it means the inclination of the principal axes of an aircraft relative to the wind or the ground, or the orientation of a spacecraft in relation to its direction of motion. In the arts, it is a specific ballet position, and for a painter or sculptor it is a position or gesture by the figure in their artistic piece to communicate a particular mood or emotion. In psychology, it is a person’s mental (cognitive) and emotional (affective) perspective, tendency, orientation, manner and/or behavior towards people, ideas or other specified targets or objects.
Doorways: Push or Pull?
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” — Socrates
A while back I was having terrible meditations. Nothing was working and nothing was happening. I realize that in some meditation systems that that is part of the point, but for Audinometry, the sound current meditation system I practice, that is not usually the case. It is a very active set of inner exercises, a bit like juggling between mental and spiritual gymnastics.
Anyway, this went on for days and days, which then became weeks. I tried all kinds of things. Every technique I knew about. Every technique that usually got me out of anything like this. I started doubting everything. Myself, the people around me, the world in general. I was in trouble and it seemed there was no cavalry in the distance. My attitude was in the toilet, and I starting not caring if it got flushed down the pike.
Those weeks became more than a month, and I had just about forgotten what a good meditation was. And I knew I was in trouble when I just gave up and didn’t care at all anymore. But because I didn’t care I did nothing. I just raised my hands. Walked off. Gave up. Who cares?
Simple Humility
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” — Ernest Hemingway
I think we could all probably do with a dose of humility on more regular occasion than we actually practice it.
Every morning for the past forty plus years I have tried to take the time to sit down and meditate. But sometimes now it seems to be more out of habit than anything, until I have an experience or set of experiences that remind me how important it is.
At times as I sit in the solitude of my own being I can sense what a tiny speck in the vastness of creation I am. Then my ego may chime in and disagree and start tooting my horn about my greatness. I sit back and observe this goings on, sometimes chuckle a bit and then try to comprehend what is actually going on.
Many spiritual teachers (as well as mine) have spoken about how this world is essentially a grand illusion. As if we are inside a virtual reality simulation, running for our mutual, what? Amusement? Demise? Actually, it seems like it’s probably a school of some kind. A type of precursor or test to see what we would do if actually presented with all this in our world, as if it was real. How would we act? How would we treat others? How would we treat the world? How would we treat ourselves? How would we do on the test?
Creating Universes
Language is a process of free creation; its laws and principles are fixed, but the manner in which the principles of generation are used is free and infinitely varied. Even the interpretation and use of words involves a process of free creation.
— Noam Chomsky
Retro time, or a glimpse at some bad alliterating? Ah yes, this is an odd simple poem I wrote at the tender age of 15, which happens to be over 45 years ago. How time flies, and hopefully whatever you learn to create improves with time, age, and experience. Or maybe not …
Creating Universes
Whistle me a tune
very soon,
if you can.
Play me a song
so very long,
I’m such a fan.
Write me a poem
about all them,
not your clan.
Paint me a picture
of their nature,
not too tan.
Cut me a sculpture
without a rupture
they won’t ban.
Now look back at this universe,
neither crude nor perverse,
and with an arrogant nod,
proclaim yourself a God.
Ha, we all make mistakes and grow, right?
TMC
Shasta Discovery
“When I first caught sight of it over the braided folds of the Sacramento Valley, I was fifty miles away and afoot, alone and weary. Yet all my blood turned to wine, and I have not been weary since.”
— John Muir
When I first heard of Mt. Shasta I had never actually heard of it before. Of course, I had drank Shasta Cola a few times as a kid, but I never really knew there was a real mountain called Shasta. Until that spring of ’72.
As I previously stated in part 2 of my 3-part blog entry ‘Mt Spiritual Adventure,’ my meditation teacher told me in spring about a retreat that was to take place up there in mid-summer. By early summer there was a lot of talk among some of my new-found meditation friends about who was going to make this spiritual trek to northern California … to that mountain called Shasta. A mountain that had a reputation as a sacred, mystical mountain drawing people from all over the world, as if a spiritual mecca of the west.
At that time I didn’t count myself on that list. I wasn’t sure I could get the money together, get time off work, or had a decent enough car to make such a long journey from Texas to a place I knew very little about. At least I wasn’t in summer school (I was 20 and in college at UT Austin) that year, so that wasn’t a problem. But the obstacles were there, and so I wrote it all off.
Azmirenda
Trekking, even at times floating, upstream along the banks of this vibrant stream,
I reflect upon how simply generous today has always been.
Up ahead this so vibrant stream fed from a simple, still, and silver pool,
and nourished in the far sky by the setting of a burning, white hot sun.
In the distance a waterfall gushed from behind a long, dark shadow,
and I wonder, yes oh wonder, what secrets it must hide today.
Yet I know in this pristine moment it’s time to align my lower self and my higher self,
and my heart, my mind, my spirit, my soul, my very being,
within the ears and eyes of a principle, singing consciousness of high creation.
For now tomorrow shall be even more wondrous inside this eternity’s dream.
And then a dragon stuck her head from behind that long, dark shadow,
and into the silver light before me, as I fearlessly faced her eye to eye,
she smiled slightly, signaling her helping spirit,
and welcomed me into creation’s eternal land of happiness.
And she said her name was … Azmirenda.
And then I told her mine …
TMC