youth
My Spiritual Adventure, Part 1
“Silence is the language of God. All else is poor translation.” — Jalal ad-Din Rumi
I have previously mentioned several times that I would write here about the particular meditation system I have been practicing for more than 40 years now. Well, since I recently finished an annual retreat hosted by this organization, I figured this was probably a good time to spill it. But be warned, there is a lot to communicate here so it may be written in several posts.
I shall start at the beginning, as it should be …
I found myself in the early 70’s at the University of Texas, after several of my unexplained experiences when I was growing up, which I have already mentioned some of here in this blog. This offered up an environment to help me explore my ‘predicament,’ trying to figure out what the hell had been happening to me.
I spent more than a year reading volumes of material on anything related to this. Back then it wasn’t like today. Nowadays, you can find all kinds of metaphysical books in most bookstores. Then you really had to seek them out, because most bookstores didn’t carry those types of titles.
Still, they weren’t very satisfying. A good portion of them were all theory and philosophy. Some were about experiences the authors or others had, but didn’t really say how or if those experiences were repeatable by anyone else. What I wanted was the nuts and bolts of this greater reality.
Jeffrey & Jonathon
“The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose.” – Garrison Keillor
As I’ve mentioned before, I come from a large family, being the oldest of seven children. I certainly didn’t know that when I decided to incarnate in that particular family that six more would follow me. I guess my parents must have seemed like a desirable set of parents from the other side. Not only that, every one of our names started with a “J”. Not quite sure what that was about, but I don’t think it was an issue with any of us.
Out of the seven of us, two of my siblings are no longer with us in the physical world. Jeff (on the right in the pix) and Jon (on the left) have departed and moved on. They were number 3 and number 4 in the birth order, and they exited way before their time.
I have stories about both that I would like to share. Families have always been complicated worlds to explore. They involve so many dynamics and provide so much material to consider, that no wonder they have been the subject of so much writing, art, music, drama, science, etc. throughout the ages. But of course, there is one major reason above all. Families are the very basic foundation for all of civilization. Without their proper functioning and growth, there can be no civilization. None whatsoever.
The Lower High Way
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” – Joseph Campbell
What a drag high school could be. Or maybe it was just school in general. Or maybe it was because by the time I reached high school I had already been to six different schools. Six schools in nine years, through eighth grade (counting kindergarten). And then high school came around, and I was in three schools in four years. So a total of nine different schools in my 13 years of public education. Yeah, that was probably it. Not much stability in that. And then add to that that I was a shy kid, so not much else for me to be but a loner. But I got used to that, even though I was in a large family. So, as the oldest of seven kids, I pretty much kept to myself. But oddly enough, I got good grades in school, but looking back now I think it was because it was too easy. I rarely felt challenged, and I just floated through with not a lot of effort.
My main escape was my own imagination. And boy could I put that into overdrive. At eleven and twelve I remember hording comic books and going into the closet with a flashlight, closing the closet and reading comic book after comic book. And flying away with my heroes to other worlds. And no one in family really knowing where I was. But then by the time I was 14, I found a Playboy magazine and everything changed. Even, of course, the direction of my imagination.
The Dark-Haired Girl
“A magic dwells in each beginning, protecting us, telling us how to live.” – Hermann Hesse
So, back to those OOBE’s I had as a child (see previous post). I had almost forgotten about an important element that occurred in my last couple experiences. While floating around my room, a transparent little girl about my age appeared. And she was floating just like me. The first time she just faded in and out. The second time she tried to talk to me, but I’m not sure I completely got what she said. It seemed she was trying to tell me not to go. What that meant, I had no idea. I didn’t know I was going anywhere, was I? Funny thing, that was my last experience (in that series). Yes, I had some more in my teen years. But what was really important here was, that I would meet this little girl as a grownup many years later. Yes, quite amazing. And what topped it off was, I would know her for many years before I realized this fact. And that adventure, and that mystery, would continue … and still does …
Floating Away
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
When I was about six years old, I think, a series of odd experiences overtook my small life. And at that time, made life much larger than I thought it ever could be. I flew, no popped, right out of my body. Not once, but numerous times. Say what?
Now at this time, I had no idea what an OOBE (out-of-body-experience) was. Hey, I was six, I barely knew what the hell an IBE (in-body-experience) was. So now I’m supposed to deal with flying around my room above my body, all over the damn place? At this point, I just wanted my mommy! Waa!!
And yes, there she was down with my body trying to comfort me. As I looked down at her from one the corners in the ceiling of my bedroom. I was sick and had a high fever, and she was trying to help me. But hey, mommy, I’m up here!
And why did I see everything from an exaggerated fish-eye type lens perspective? Wow, this was tripping and I didn’t even know what tripping was. All I knew is I didn’t like it. Then all of a sudden I was back in my body. Oh wow, no wonder I got out. I feel like crap. I was sick all right.
Lost Memories
“Grown up, and that is a terribly hard thing to do. It is much easier to skip it and go from one childhood to another.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
Do you remember that very first moment in your early life when you were actually aware of yourself? When you knew you existed? Do you remember what you thought? Or what you felt? Or anything? Anything at all? Is it even important?
I do have a couple vague memories when I was a little over three years old. Seems I was in the hospital for a hernia operation after I fell in the bathtub. Maybe that ‘woke’ me up a bit. Only a couple glimpses form from there.
Then I remember a few things when I was about five, in kindergarten and living in Iowa where I was born. It was usually about the cold and the snow, and the fact I never said anything in class. Seems my teacher had asked my parents if I could talk. Actually I was very shy. And besides, what does a 5-year-old really need to say in kindergarten, when it was just half a day, and half of that was nap time?
And then I remember something about climbing our neighbor’s fence and stealing rhubarb out of their garden, and then sneaking down in our basement with some sugar to make the bitter bounty taste better. Must have been good, because we (my two brothers and I) got in lots of trouble.
In The Beginning
“Too bad youth is wasted on the young.” – Mark Twain
I turned 60 today. Is that even significant? Does that even mean anything? Does it need to? I remember when I was growing up thinking that someone that age just had to be old. I don’t feel old, so I’m not. So take that. Now that that’s out the way, we can move on.
But yes, I created this blog now because I am of that particular age when maybe, just maybe, I have a few things to say that might be worthwhile to someone. Of course, I think there was probably always something of value in what I’ve said. At least to myself, and possibly even others close to me. But now, maybe I have something of value to those of you out there who don’t know me at all.
As a beginning place for you, check out the section about me, and then read a few of my entries. If it doesn’t suit your tastes, you haven’t really wasted much time. If it does, then let’s have a little fun. And of course, you can always comment on my postings. But keep it civil, fun and positive. Life is too short for negative diatribes. As now at my age, I’m truly discovering.