vertical experience
A Spiritual Tribute, Part 2
“It is the energy of consciousness that one has come here to collect. This energy that drives all the parts of our being. Study it, pursue it, learn how to store it and conscious life will be eternal, and you will come to remember who you are and why you are here…” — Bruce K. Avenell
Well, I thought one posting about my meditation teacher who passed into the spiritual world more than three months ago would wrap that all up. But apparently there may be more to be said here. Funny thing though, if he knew I was doing this he’d probably scoff at me and tell me to knock it off. A few years ago I mentioned to him that he would make for an intriguing documentary film subject. He laughed, rolled his eyes, and only said, “Please, do not do that.” I of course will honor that request. However, he said nothing about his writings and teachings. And since I do not intend to write about him specifically anyway, as I said in the last post, I will only quote more excerpts from some of his other writings. Enjoy!
“Your beliefs hold you a prisoner in this realm’s dreams of TIME, ILLUSION and PARADOX…
Onward & Upward
“History admires the wise, but it elevates the brave.” — Edmund Morris
When I first began my spiritual search more than 45 years ago, I did not really know what I was looking for. Although a part of me certainly tried to act like I did. So much of what I felt was going on with me didn’t really seem to have a basis in any kind of physical reality. I guess that’s a part of why I was so confused and lost as I stumbled along through my life path.
Over these many years I feel I’ve gained a perspective that puts much of that in its proper place. As I have added tools to my spiritual toolbox over that time, it is much easier to pause and look back at all the illusionary misperceptions that drove my direction in life. And the amazing thing about all that wasn’t just necessarily that the direction was off, but that my whole orientation to my path was completely off. Let me explain.
First, a little terminology education for all of you, so you all understand what I’m actually talking about. Not that you’re not intelligent to understand. Just extending the courtesy to you so you can learn the vocabulary of the word values I’m using. Hell, it took me years to really understand what this meant myself, so here goes.
The God Complex
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” — Lao Tzu
Why do we need heroes? Why do we need to worship? Why does it seem we always need to have someone to look up to? What is all that?
I think human beings are too easily brainwashed. We seem too insecure in ourselves and we look to others for validation and approval. That opens the door for others to take advantage of us. We seem to need a Daddy and a Mommy, and a God or Gods, to tell us what to do, and/or let us know we are okay, and/or just be someone we need to admire. Because they are greater than us, since we are so unworthy?
I feel we live in a world of many illusions. And this strong need for someone or something outside ourselves to ease our inside insecurities is one of the grandest illusions of all. We need to be free of hero worship, guru traps, and prophet perversions. They are pieces of this monumental illusion that leads us away from our own spiritual freedom.
Look around. It is everywhere. Our celebrity society, with its movie stars, sports stars, political stars, business stars, religious stars, media stars, stars everywhere in all forms. We promote them in all types of mediums, and joist them high on their pedestals. For they know better than us. And we know nothing. Right?
A Way In Up & Out
“A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself. The one produces aspiration; the other ambition, which is the way in which a vulgar man aspires.” — Marcus Aurelius
What about you? Do you have ambitions or aspirations?
When I was about ten years old I remember having an identity crisis. You may ask, how can one so young have anything that seems too serious going on, as if some type of existential crisis? I doubt from where I’m looking at it now, that it was actually too serious. But of course at the time it seemed so. Yet I do believe to this day that it set me on a course that led me to where I am today. And for me, that is important.
We only have moments as they are played out in our life, for the past is only a memory, and the future is only a hope, a dream, or a fear. But I think in those ‘important’ moments is where we set the sails for our life’s destiny. And that moment at ten was one of those ‘important’ moments. I don’t consciously remember how I comprehended that moment, but for the most part I do remember how I felt. And that is where I think the journey I am currently on actually started.
Altitude & Attitude - An Answer?
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” — Abraham Lincoln
An answer? An answer to what, you might say. Well first, let’s get some definitions out of the way, and see if any kind of answer is the right approach here.
1. Altitude is defined as a distance elevation or an angular measurement, mostly in a vertical or up direction, between a reference point and another point or object, usually based in a particular context, such as aviation, astronomy, geographical, geometry, or sports, and commonly used as the location height above sea level.
2. Attitude is defined usually in aeronautical, artistic, or psychological terms. In aviation, it means the inclination of the principal axes of an aircraft relative to the wind or the ground, or the orientation of a spacecraft in relation to its direction of motion. In the arts, it is a specific ballet position, and for a painter or sculptor it is a position or gesture by the figure in their artistic piece to communicate a particular mood or emotion. In psychology, it is a person’s mental (cognitive) and emotional (affective) perspective, tendency, orientation, manner and/or behavior towards people, ideas or other specified targets or objects.
Azmirenda
Trekking, even at times floating, upstream along the banks of this vibrant stream,
I reflect upon how simply generous today has always been.
Up ahead this so vibrant stream fed from a simple, still, and silver pool,
and nourished in the far sky by the setting of a burning, white hot sun.
In the distance a waterfall gushed from behind a long, dark shadow,
and I wonder, yes oh wonder, what secrets it must hide today.
Yet I know in this pristine moment it’s time to align my lower self and my higher self,
and my heart, my mind, my spirit, my soul, my very being,
within the ears and eyes of a principle, singing consciousness of high creation.
For now tomorrow shall be even more wondrous inside this eternity’s dream.
And then a dragon stuck her head from behind that long, dark shadow,
and into the silver light before me, as I fearlessly faced her eye to eye,
she smiled slightly, signaling her helping spirit,
and welcomed me into creation’s eternal land of happiness.
And she said her name was … Azmirenda.
And then I told her mine …
TMC
Shasta Time
“I consider the evening twilight on Mount Shasta one of the
grandest sights I have ever witnessed.”
— Theodore Roosevelt
Every year about this time I, along with a host of others, head to Mt. Shasta for an annual retreat and to partake of her spiritual goodies. My first trip up here was in the summer of 1972 when I was just 20 (that was an amazing trip and camping experience I should write about some day). I have come up every year at this time, except for one year when I went to climb around the pyramids of the Yucatan. So this will be my 41st retreat up to Shasta. And every year is different, each with its own set of spiritual challenges, lessons, progressions, and comprehensions. And of course, seeing old friends and meeting new ones.
As I write this I am just starting to get my camping gear together. But I also wonder how many more years I will be able to camp up there. I guess as long as my body will put up with it, hopefully until I am at least 80. There are times when hiking, meditating, or just hanging around my camp, when it feels like I am home. At least as much as you can feel at home in this physical corporeal existence.
Elevator Love
“And when Love speaks, the voices of all the gods make heaven drowsy with its harmony.” — William Shakespeare
I recently drove to Texas from California, and a week later, back again. On my trip back I stopped for a few days at a place I consider ‘very special.’ It is a place especially built to enhance active meditative experience. This time around I did indeed experience something very special, something I can barely put into words here.
I have been to this place many times before over the past almost two decades, and I have had many different types of experiences. But nothing like I recently encountered, and in fact, am still trying to comprehend.
In a past blog entry I wrote about the different types of love, silver love being the loftiest. Well, one of the most compelling experiences I recently had relates to this subject. Yet how do we speak of love without getting a bit romantic, mushy, or starry-eyed about it? Well, not so fast. For the way I truly want to communicate this to you is more in a way of comprehension, not romanticism. Is that clear at all? So, let me attempt to clarify.
Every once in a while one of the things that happens to me in meditation, especially a deep one, is what comes to me are pieces of information that I am not readily able to comprehend. It’s like someone speaking to me in a foreign language backwards. But usually it comes to me like when you download an online zipped file to your computer. You first have to download it properly, then you have to unzip it, and then use the proper application so you can interpret it and get any use out of it. Well, sometimes it seems it happens about like that. Except …
Between Lives
“I am certain that I have been here as I am now a thousand times before, and I hope to return a thousand times.”– Goethe
Even though I have remembered parts of several lives over the years through deep meditation, I had often wondered what exactly do we do between those lives?
Well, I did have the fortunate experience in meditation a few years back to ‘remember’ something I did between this life and my last, as in something I had actually done on the other side between two lifetimes. To set this up, I need to briefly explain that this was not a normal meditation, if there is such a thing. And that where I was meditating was a very special place. Meaning that there are some places where certain spiritual harmonic devices (or configurations) have been built to enhance ‘spiritual flying’. I cannot at this time speak of them freely, as you could probably say they are in research and development, and not really accessible by the general public. No, it’s not top secret or anything, just a precautionary step to make sure people don’t hurt themselves using them. (Note: However, if you are especially curious about this I can put you in contact with the person who knows all about this and let him decide.)
My Love, My Lady
Think about it, there must be higher love
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above
Without it, life is wasted time
Look inside your heart, I’ll look inside mine
Things look so bad everywhere
In this whole world, what is fair?
We walk blind, we try to see
Falling behind in what could be
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Where’s that higher love I keep thinking of?
“Higher Love”, Stevie Winwood
Yes, we are back into the obviously complex, utterly mysterious world of … love. Isn’t it wonderful, to explore a world so many of us seem to know so little of? But yet, I still think we may know a little more than we give ourselves credit for. Maybe the world just conspires against us, so we will spend more time trying to learn and experience it, instead of worrying and fretting about it.
I wrote about love in my last entry, in a bit of a clinical way. Mainly because it was meant to be more of an intro into a world we may explore a bit here now and then. Being that it is so very important in the fabric of our lives.
I feel I am a very fortunate man. I have been married three times, all to wonderful women. My first marriage was to my high school sweetheart, but it did not last too long for our immaturity caught up with us before a strong enough foundation could be built for a lasting relationship. Of course there were other factors, but the important thing is that we have remained good friends over all these years. In fact, I saw her just last month. And we still can have fun and laugh together like we used to. She has been married to a wonderful man for years, and they have a pretty amazing teenage son, who refers to me as an uncle.