meditation
Doorways: Push or Pull?
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” — Socrates
A while back I was having terrible meditations. Nothing was working and nothing was happening. I realize that in some meditation systems that that is part of the point, but for Audinometry, the sound current meditation system I practice, that is not usually the case. It is a very active set of inner exercises, a bit like juggling between mental and spiritual gymnastics.
Anyway, this went on for days and days, which then became weeks. I tried all kinds of things. Every technique I knew about. Every technique that usually got me out of anything like this. I started doubting everything. Myself, the people around me, the world in general. I was in trouble and it seemed there was no cavalry in the distance. My attitude was in the toilet, and I starting not caring if it got flushed down the pike.
Those weeks became more than a month, and I had just about forgotten what a good meditation was. And I knew I was in trouble when I just gave up and didn’t care at all anymore. But because I didn’t care I did nothing. I just raised my hands. Walked off. Gave up. Who cares?
Simple Humility
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” — Ernest Hemingway
I think we could all probably do with a dose of humility on more regular occasion than we actually practice it.
Every morning for the past forty plus years I have tried to take the time to sit down and meditate. But sometimes now it seems to be more out of habit than anything, until I have an experience or set of experiences that remind me how important it is.
At times as I sit in the solitude of my own being I can sense what a tiny speck in the vastness of creation I am. Then my ego may chime in and disagree and start tooting my horn about my greatness. I sit back and observe this goings on, sometimes chuckle a bit and then try to comprehend what is actually going on.
Many spiritual teachers (as well as mine) have spoken about how this world is essentially a grand illusion. As if we are inside a virtual reality simulation, running for our mutual, what? Amusement? Demise? Actually, it seems like it’s probably a school of some kind. A type of precursor or test to see what we would do if actually presented with all this in our world, as if it was real. How would we act? How would we treat others? How would we treat the world? How would we treat ourselves? How would we do on the test?
Shasta Discovery
“When I first caught sight of it over the braided folds of the Sacramento Valley, I was fifty miles away and afoot, alone and weary. Yet all my blood turned to wine, and I have not been weary since.”
— John Muir
When I first heard of Mt. Shasta I had never actually heard of it before. Of course, I had drank Shasta Cola a few times as a kid, but I never really knew there was a real mountain called Shasta. Until that spring of ’72.
As I previously stated in part 2 of my 3-part blog entry ‘Mt Spiritual Adventure,’ my meditation teacher told me in spring about a retreat that was to take place up there in mid-summer. By early summer there was a lot of talk among some of my new-found meditation friends about who was going to make this spiritual trek to northern California … to that mountain called Shasta. A mountain that had a reputation as a sacred, mystical mountain drawing people from all over the world, as if a spiritual mecca of the west.
At that time I didn’t count myself on that list. I wasn’t sure I could get the money together, get time off work, or had a decent enough car to make such a long journey from Texas to a place I knew very little about. At least I wasn’t in summer school (I was 20 and in college at UT Austin) that year, so that wasn’t a problem. But the obstacles were there, and so I wrote it all off.
My Spiritual Adventure, Part 3
“In the great silence within your being, creation ever sings its song of life for you.” — Bruce K. Avenell
As I write this third (and final) part to this 3-part blog posting, I realize this is nowhere near any type of end, as I’m sure I could write a book or two on this all encompassing subject. But this is not the time or place for that … yet. So, as I try to wrap this up to some type of point, I want to stress that what follows is just a general condensing of what my spiritual path has been these past 40 plus years. Of course, there will always be other blog postings that reflect what this has all been about. After all, that is the main point of this blog. Anyway …
I think the best way to go into this is to write about what I may have actually learned these past four decades, meditating under the system taught by The Eureka Society, which is called Audinometry. It is an advanced system of sound current meditation founded by Bruce K. Avenell, who had been a student of both Dr. Baghadt Singh Thind, a Sikh guru, and Kirpal Singh, of the Sant Mat tradition, both interesting characters in their own right. You can do research about both of them if you like, as there is plenty of material out there.
My Spiritual Adventure, Part 2
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”― Aristotle
That very next weekend after that life-altering class I went to a potluck where everyone there was no one I knew, and was hosted by the organization that this teacher ran. I have never been the best at small talk, especially around people I did not know at all. I mostly kept my mouth shut, and just watched and listened. I was invited to this potluck by the people who had put on the class, since I had expressed an interest in learning more about this inner sound. I spent most of the afternoon getting to know some of the people there. Most of them had already started some type of meditation program that involved this sound, but a few others were in the same boat as I was. Just kicking a few tires and seeing what was what.
After we had chowed down some really great food, mostly of the healthy and organic type, our ‘spiritual mechanic’ who had given the pretty amazing lecture spoke for a while. He was very low key and unassuming, but I was enticed by what he had to say. A few people asked him questions, but overall it was pretty laid back. Apparently he had been meditating on this ‘sound current,’ as he called it, for more than 20 years and had started teaching it just a few years ago. He wanted to make it clear that he was not a guru or master, and that he didn’t want anyone’s devotion. In fact, if anyone tried that, he would not teach them. He would probably get up and leave the room, thus leaving you to your own thoughts. He had learned in the eastern devotion schools, but then left them behind once he started his own school. He preferred to just be a simple teacher, a coach, a friend, a confidant if possible, and at times he could be coaxed into working as a spiritual mechanic. In essence, helping people fix some of their spiritual problems that were holding them back.
My Spiritual Adventure, Part 1
“Silence is the language of God. All else is poor translation.” — Jalal ad-Din Rumi
I have previously mentioned several times that I would write here about the particular meditation system I have been practicing for more than 40 years now. Well, since I recently finished an annual retreat hosted by this organization, I figured this was probably a good time to spill it. But be warned, there is a lot to communicate here so it may be written in several posts.
I shall start at the beginning, as it should be …
I found myself in the early 70’s at the University of Texas, after several of my unexplained experiences when I was growing up, which I have already mentioned some of here in this blog. This offered up an environment to help me explore my ‘predicament,’ trying to figure out what the hell had been happening to me.
I spent more than a year reading volumes of material on anything related to this. Back then it wasn’t like today. Nowadays, you can find all kinds of metaphysical books in most bookstores. Then you really had to seek them out, because most bookstores didn’t carry those types of titles.
Still, they weren’t very satisfying. A good portion of them were all theory and philosophy. Some were about experiences the authors or others had, but didn’t really say how or if those experiences were repeatable by anyone else. What I wanted was the nuts and bolts of this greater reality.
Shasta Time
“I consider the evening twilight on Mount Shasta one of the
grandest sights I have ever witnessed.”
— Theodore Roosevelt
Every year about this time I, along with a host of others, head to Mt. Shasta for an annual retreat and to partake of her spiritual goodies. My first trip up here was in the summer of 1972 when I was just 20 (that was an amazing trip and camping experience I should write about some day). I have come up every year at this time, except for one year when I went to climb around the pyramids of the Yucatan. So this will be my 41st retreat up to Shasta. And every year is different, each with its own set of spiritual challenges, lessons, progressions, and comprehensions. And of course, seeing old friends and meeting new ones.
As I write this I am just starting to get my camping gear together. But I also wonder how many more years I will be able to camp up there. I guess as long as my body will put up with it, hopefully until I am at least 80. There are times when hiking, meditating, or just hanging around my camp, when it feels like I am home. At least as much as you can feel at home in this physical corporeal existence.
Answers for Questions?
“Life is available only in the present moment.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Do you ever ask the big questions of or about life? You know the ones, ‘what is the meaning of life?’ … ‘why are we here?’ … ‘who am I?’ … ‘does any of this even matter?’ … and on and on. Do you think those questions matter? Do you think the universe, creation, God, Deity, or whoever or whatever is out there cares … at all? Should that or they even care? Why or why not? Are we done asking these asinine questions yet? Yes … for now, for aren’t there always questions, won’t there always be, as long as we humans are around? Yes, of course. Well, at least that one was easy to answer.
Oh, but wait, one more question. Are there even any answers to any of these questions? Okay, done for now with the questions part. Now, maybe we can move on to the answers part. Yes, answers, the hard part of the equation. Questions, the easy, lazy part. We all have questions, of one kind or another. We can all ask them, whether simple, profound, or just there, so easy to ask. But humans seem to be in the business of the search, always searching for answers, whether it be in mathematics, science, business, psychology, spirituality, and so forth. In every human endeavor throughout history, questions were the foundation for the march forward, no matter the answers. For we usually found some kind of answer to temporarily satisfy us. Or did we (oops another question, can’t seem to get around that)?
The Sound of Silence
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
“The sound is the source of all manifestation … The knower of the mystery of sound knows the mystery of the whole universe.”
“Learn to listen to the voice within yourself.”
“In the beginning was OM …”
“For in the beginning of the times so did we all share in the Holy Stream of Sound that gave birth to all creation.”
“The kingdom of heaven is within you.”
“The Tao is the source of all things … existed before heaven and earth … eternal … pervades everywhere…”
“May the force be with you.”
The Greek philosopher/mathematician Pythagoras called it “Music of the Spheres”, another Greek philosopher Heraclitus called it “Logos” (which means both sound and word), the Bible calls it “The Word” and “Voice of Many Waters”, the Upanishads call it “Shabda Brahman” (the cosmic sound of Lord Brahma), the Vedas call it “Anahad” (unlimited tone), the Sufis call it “Saute Surmad” (the tone that fills the cosmos), the Sikhs call it “Nam” or “Naam” (name or spiritual sound), and the Hindus also call it “AUM” and the Buddhists “OM”. Some Native American traditions call it “Song of the Creator”, in reference to the force that created life and sustains the universe.
Elevator Love
“And when Love speaks, the voices of all the gods make heaven drowsy with its harmony.” — William Shakespeare
I recently drove to Texas from California, and a week later, back again. On my trip back I stopped for a few days at a place I consider ‘very special.’ It is a place especially built to enhance active meditative experience. This time around I did indeed experience something very special, something I can barely put into words here.
I have been to this place many times before over the past almost two decades, and I have had many different types of experiences. But nothing like I recently encountered, and in fact, am still trying to comprehend.
In a past blog entry I wrote about the different types of love, silver love being the loftiest. Well, one of the most compelling experiences I recently had relates to this subject. Yet how do we speak of love without getting a bit romantic, mushy, or starry-eyed about it? Well, not so fast. For the way I truly want to communicate this to you is more in a way of comprehension, not romanticism. Is that clear at all? So, let me attempt to clarify.
Every once in a while one of the things that happens to me in meditation, especially a deep one, is what comes to me are pieces of information that I am not readily able to comprehend. It’s like someone speaking to me in a foreign language backwards. But usually it comes to me like when you download an online zipped file to your computer. You first have to download it properly, then you have to unzip it, and then use the proper application so you can interpret it and get any use out of it. Well, sometimes it seems it happens about like that. Except …