illusion
When I'm 64
“When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?”
‘When I’m Sixty-Four’ — The Beatles
I turned 64 last week. Is that old? I don’t think so; at least I don’t feel that way. I started this blog four years ago on my birthday thinking that maybe someone of my age would have something wise, relevant, and intriguing to communicate to … whoever, out there in the world. Not sure if I have proved that in any way whatsoever, but at least I have the opportunity to throw a bunch of stuff on the wall and see if anything actually sticks. I guess that would be up to you to decide all that, huh?
We all live our lives in relatively insulated bubbles of reality and illusion, sometimes wondering who we are, where we came from, what we’re doing here, and where we could be going. But mostly we carry on with our lives day to day, reflecting on how good or bad yesterday was, trying to deal with the challenges of the present, and hoping tomorrow’s sun will shine brighter. At times it seems life doesn’t give us the tools to understand what we should be doing in any given moment. Because oddly, the moment is all we ever really have, isn’t it? From moment to moment we traverse through this labyrinth of reality-illusion, with time continuously raging on in a totally relentless manner. Meaning there are no moments we can latch on to. For they are gone … in a moment. Moment by moment. So, what to do in each moment? …
Onward & Upward
“History admires the wise, but it elevates the brave.” — Edmund Morris
When I first began my spiritual search more than 45 years ago, I did not really know what I was looking for. Although a part of me certainly tried to act like I did. So much of what I felt was going on with me didn’t really seem to have a basis in any kind of physical reality. I guess that’s a part of why I was so confused and lost as I stumbled along through my life path.
Over these many years I feel I’ve gained a perspective that puts much of that in its proper place. As I have added tools to my spiritual toolbox over that time, it is much easier to pause and look back at all the illusionary misperceptions that drove my direction in life. And the amazing thing about all that wasn’t just necessarily that the direction was off, but that my whole orientation to my path was completely off. Let me explain.
First, a little terminology education for all of you, so you all understand what I’m actually talking about. Not that you’re not intelligent to understand. Just extending the courtesy to you so you can learn the vocabulary of the word values I’m using. Hell, it took me years to really understand what this meant myself, so here goes.
The God Complex
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” — Lao Tzu
Why do we need heroes? Why do we need to worship? Why does it seem we always need to have someone to look up to? What is all that?
I think human beings are too easily brainwashed. We seem too insecure in ourselves and we look to others for validation and approval. That opens the door for others to take advantage of us. We seem to need a Daddy and a Mommy, and a God or Gods, to tell us what to do, and/or let us know we are okay, and/or just be someone we need to admire. Because they are greater than us, since we are so unworthy?
I feel we live in a world of many illusions. And this strong need for someone or something outside ourselves to ease our inside insecurities is one of the grandest illusions of all. We need to be free of hero worship, guru traps, and prophet perversions. They are pieces of this monumental illusion that leads us away from our own spiritual freedom.
Look around. It is everywhere. Our celebrity society, with its movie stars, sports stars, political stars, business stars, religious stars, media stars, stars everywhere in all forms. We promote them in all types of mediums, and joist them high on their pedestals. For they know better than us. And we know nothing. Right?
Spiritual Big Shots
“The West has become a heaven for spiritual charlatans … without the guidelines and criteria of a thriving and full-fledged wisdom culture, the authenticity of so-called “Masters” is almost impossible to establish.” — Sogyal Rinpoche
Have you noticed how many people these days boast about some type of spiritual, self help, or self improvement type of system or program they are selling? And of course, how great they are, and how great their program will make you. Hhhmmm, yes indeed, you probably do detect a note of skepticism in my point of view here. I certainly do pride such skepticism as an ingredient to a healthy attitude, as long it does not get in the way of anyone’s ongoing progress.
Yes, our ongoing progress. Now, how does that work exactly? Exactly, is exactly the word. Meaning there is no perfection, no exactness, no wonderfully magic formula to spiritual growth and progress. No matter what all the spiritually self-important big shots say.
When I first began searching for a spiritual path, system, whatever, in my late teens I felt somewhat desperate. But I realized early on not to make such an important decision while in a hyper emotional state. Calm, relaxed, and focused discernment I felt would serve me better, even if not always easy to accomplish. So, I did not take the first spiritual prescription that happened along. My search wound up taking over four years, which granted is not very long in the span of a lifetime, but when you are young, impatient, and almost frantic, it sure seemed like it.
Elevator Love
“And when Love speaks, the voices of all the gods make heaven drowsy with its harmony.” — William Shakespeare
I recently drove to Texas from California, and a week later, back again. On my trip back I stopped for a few days at a place I consider ‘very special.’ It is a place especially built to enhance active meditative experience. This time around I did indeed experience something very special, something I can barely put into words here.
I have been to this place many times before over the past almost two decades, and I have had many different types of experiences. But nothing like I recently encountered, and in fact, am still trying to comprehend.
In a past blog entry I wrote about the different types of love, silver love being the loftiest. Well, one of the most compelling experiences I recently had relates to this subject. Yet how do we speak of love without getting a bit romantic, mushy, or starry-eyed about it? Well, not so fast. For the way I truly want to communicate this to you is more in a way of comprehension, not romanticism. Is that clear at all? So, let me attempt to clarify.
Every once in a while one of the things that happens to me in meditation, especially a deep one, is what comes to me are pieces of information that I am not readily able to comprehend. It’s like someone speaking to me in a foreign language backwards. But usually it comes to me like when you download an online zipped file to your computer. You first have to download it properly, then you have to unzip it, and then use the proper application so you can interpret it and get any use out of it. Well, sometimes it seems it happens about like that. Except …
Psychopomp Anyone? (Part 2)
“You must free yourself. The magic is within you.”– Bruce K. Avenell
During the process of grieving the loss of someone close to us, many times the lost energy tie we have with them is what we are feeling gone. Of course, we have strong feelings for them, but also the loss of shared exchange energy is what we are feeling. Sometimes this may be an energy co-dependency break off we are responding to, and this is what we have to deal with. However, if you have been doing something to regularly replenish your own inner energy supply, such as a system of meditation, then this should serve as a buffer against such a shock on your energy system. This is another reason that both you, as a person who will eventually cross over, and this person you are grieving, should have been striving to sustain your own energy supply independently of each other.
Other negative situations can make the transition to the other side very difficult. People who were so wrapped up in their earthly possessions may not realize they have died or don’t want to accept the fact, and refuse to pass on. Or others may become disoriented and have trouble making the transition, getting lost in the astral dream worlds. Either person may remain attached to a familiar place, such as a house they once inhabited, or become negative nuisances to those left behind, actually ‘haunting’ these areas. Not letting go like this may cause one to appear as some kind of spirit, apparition, ghost or phantom. Or if a person died of a violent or quick death, they may remain in the general vicinity of the incident, not knowing what to do. Such stranded entities usually have a detrimental effect on the physical people they hang around, often attaching themselves to them. This can result in the energy being sucked right out of them, possibly causing physical, emotional, mental and spiritual problems over time. Before you become enamored with the idea that your relative or friend may still be hanging out with you from the other side, consider the possible negative consequences for both of you.
Psychopomp Anyone? (Part 1)
“When one door closes, another opens…but often, we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which is opened before us.” — Helen Keller
In one of my meditations of just under 10 years ago, a very strange thing did indeed happen. At that point I had been doing this meditation scene for over 30 years, and nothing quite like this had ever occurred before. After I had been into the meditation for only about fifteen minutes and just started to actually get somewhere, suddenly a woman was right there jutting her face in mine. Now I don’t mean physically, but at some spirit level. She presented herself in a way that it appeared she was involved with some kind of voodoo or black magic.
Immediately I was jolted back some, totally unprepared for this. But I kept my composure, as I wanted to keep the contact going, this being such a very curious thing. She was obviously quite irritated with me about something. As the contact progressed and we “discussed” this concern she had, I began to get a picture of what was happening.
Anyway, this is the story. Turns out, as she says, that she is a psychopomp. A what, you ask? Exactly. I had the same reaction. For a few moments in the early part of this contact I started to wonder if all this was the result of something I had ingested the night before and this was just a total hallucination. But I went ahead and decided to see this thing through.
Double Edged Storytelling
“As above, so below” — Hermes Trismegistus
In an odd way, it does seem there is a certain type of balance in the universe. Yet as far explaining it … well, I will leave that up to others wiser than me to figure out. However, yes I do have some observations I would like to communicate here. Like most of us, I am and do many different things; as a spiritual being, a human being, a man, a husband, a father, etc. But in my professional life I am essentially a storyteller, more specifically a filmmaker (and of course a writer). And that is where I am coming from in my observations today, here and now. I actually already started this conversation a few days ago on my other blog. For those of you who may want a little background on all this before you continue here, you should probably go there first – http://dreamsawakemovie.com/2013/01/the-path-of-story-you/ – because I don’t want to repeat myself here (so yes, it might be wise to go there first) …
From my point of view and after many years considering this, I feel the path of story is only the beginning point of a long spiritual journey for all of us, which encompasses many lifetimes of battle-tested physical existence. And yes, as that quote goes, I do think we are ‘spiritual beings having a physical experience’. So essentially, we are spiritual. And it seems, that having a physical life requires some type of physical timeline in which our life story plays out on. So, from the time we arrive as mere babes, we are trying to find our way on our life’s timeline. For we have things to do and places to go, in order that we learn the lessons we came here to learn. Over our time here our life plays out as its own unique story. Each of us unique in our being, unique in our timeline and unique in our story. So then, here you are now, beamed into the 21st century, inundated and saturated with story everywhere all around you; film, TV, radio, music, video games, internet, mobile, and who knows what next. How do you discover, or actually create, your own story in the midst of all this … intense clamoring distraction?
The Way of 12.21.12
“Do good, for good is good to do. Spurn bribe of heaven and threat of hell.” — The Kasidah, Sir Richard Burton (aka Haji Abdu El-Yezdi)
“The end is near.” So they say. Have been saying. Will continue to say. It is our way, isn’t it? To want to know when the end is? And why is that, do ya’ think?
I have been listening and watching all this for at least 25 years, since 1987 when the hyped-up ‘great’ Harmonic Convergence began this 25-year countdown. A clock that has finally wound down (thank goodness!). But believe me, another clock will start up to replace it, one way or another. And we will be facing another ‘end-of-the-world’ or ‘spiritual rebirth’ scenario.
I think there are a couple of factors of why we paint ourselves in a corner with these scenarios. First, we fear the end of everything, because we think there is nothing after ‘the end.’ So, this unknown end cannot include us, because it is ‘the end.’ And second, fear seems to be a common fuel that our world runs on. If the powers that be can keep that fire stoked, then there will always be something else out there to fear. Another end of something we must stress out about. And stress and tension will always keep us down, keep us bound to a never-ending cycle of perpetual concern.
Wired Up & Down, Part 1
“The march of science and technology does not imply growing intellectual complexity in the lives of most people. It often means the opposite.” – Thomas Sowell
In my humble estimation the worst invention in the history of humankind was the television set. It was the beginning of a hypnotic march towards unbridled voyeurism, insidious sedentary-ism, and cloistered groupthink masquerading as expressive individualism. The countless modern distractions now take so much away from a rich inner life that it only leaves us drained, and longing for more and more media to fill the sagging emptiness, day in and day out. We have been duped once again, fair people. And the enemy is us.
Yes, it all started out so innocently. Those 50’s TV sets were such fun new novelties where our families could sit around and watch their favorite shows together. And yes, actually it was a logical outgrowth of radio’s popularity. I know I certainly had fun growing up in the fifties and sixties watching my favorite shows, or whatever I was allowed to watch. Because back then we were limited how much we could watch, because it always seemed we had so many other things to do.
Next thing that came were color TV’s, and bigger TV’s, and then cable, because early on we only had the three main networks, and eventually PBS. So as time marched on, more and more stations, and more shows, and longer hours. And VCR’s came along and we could record shows and buy videos of moves to watch on TV. More and more distractions. And guess what else? Drama. More and more drama in our life. If dealing with our own daily dramas wasn’t enough, now we got inundated with all these other dramas to keep us enthralled. But what else? Colored, distracted and tensed out, we demanded more. For why pay attention to our boring little lives when we could tune into something much more intriguing, and falsely satisfying? Why eat real, nutritious fruit with a blemish on it when we can have perfect-looking plastic fruit we can watch but don’t really have to eat? So safe and distant, but so alluring and demanding.