attitude
My Spiritual Adventure, Part 2
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”― Aristotle
That very next weekend after that life-altering class I went to a potluck where everyone there was no one I knew, and was hosted by the organization that this teacher ran. I have never been the best at small talk, especially around people I did not know at all. I mostly kept my mouth shut, and just watched and listened. I was invited to this potluck by the people who had put on the class, since I had expressed an interest in learning more about this inner sound. I spent most of the afternoon getting to know some of the people there. Most of them had already started some type of meditation program that involved this sound, but a few others were in the same boat as I was. Just kicking a few tires and seeing what was what.
After we had chowed down some really great food, mostly of the healthy and organic type, our ‘spiritual mechanic’ who had given the pretty amazing lecture spoke for a while. He was very low key and unassuming, but I was enticed by what he had to say. A few people asked him questions, but overall it was pretty laid back. Apparently he had been meditating on this ‘sound current,’ as he called it, for more than 20 years and had started teaching it just a few years ago. He wanted to make it clear that he was not a guru or master, and that he didn’t want anyone’s devotion. In fact, if anyone tried that, he would not teach them. He would probably get up and leave the room, thus leaving you to your own thoughts. He had learned in the eastern devotion schools, but then left them behind once he started his own school. He preferred to just be a simple teacher, a coach, a friend, a confidant if possible, and at times he could be coaxed into working as a spiritual mechanic. In essence, helping people fix some of their spiritual problems that were holding them back.
My Spiritual Adventure, Part 1
“Silence is the language of God. All else is poor translation.” — Jalal ad-Din Rumi
I have previously mentioned several times that I would write here about the particular meditation system I have been practicing for more than 40 years now. Well, since I recently finished an annual retreat hosted by this organization, I figured this was probably a good time to spill it. But be warned, there is a lot to communicate here so it may be written in several posts.
I shall start at the beginning, as it should be …
I found myself in the early 70’s at the University of Texas, after several of my unexplained experiences when I was growing up, which I have already mentioned some of here in this blog. This offered up an environment to help me explore my ‘predicament,’ trying to figure out what the hell had been happening to me.
I spent more than a year reading volumes of material on anything related to this. Back then it wasn’t like today. Nowadays, you can find all kinds of metaphysical books in most bookstores. Then you really had to seek them out, because most bookstores didn’t carry those types of titles.
Still, they weren’t very satisfying. A good portion of them were all theory and philosophy. Some were about experiences the authors or others had, but didn’t really say how or if those experiences were repeatable by anyone else. What I wanted was the nuts and bolts of this greater reality.
Shasta Time
“I consider the evening twilight on Mount Shasta one of the
grandest sights I have ever witnessed.”
— Theodore Roosevelt
Every year about this time I, along with a host of others, head to Mt. Shasta for an annual retreat and to partake of her spiritual goodies. My first trip up here was in the summer of 1972 when I was just 20 (that was an amazing trip and camping experience I should write about some day). I have come up every year at this time, except for one year when I went to climb around the pyramids of the Yucatan. So this will be my 41st retreat up to Shasta. And every year is different, each with its own set of spiritual challenges, lessons, progressions, and comprehensions. And of course, seeing old friends and meeting new ones.
As I write this I am just starting to get my camping gear together. But I also wonder how many more years I will be able to camp up there. I guess as long as my body will put up with it, hopefully until I am at least 80. There are times when hiking, meditating, or just hanging around my camp, when it feels like I am home. At least as much as you can feel at home in this physical corporeal existence.
Answers for Questions?
“Life is available only in the present moment.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Do you ever ask the big questions of or about life? You know the ones, ‘what is the meaning of life?’ … ‘why are we here?’ … ‘who am I?’ … ‘does any of this even matter?’ … and on and on. Do you think those questions matter? Do you think the universe, creation, God, Deity, or whoever or whatever is out there cares … at all? Should that or they even care? Why or why not? Are we done asking these asinine questions yet? Yes … for now, for aren’t there always questions, won’t there always be, as long as we humans are around? Yes, of course. Well, at least that one was easy to answer.
Oh, but wait, one more question. Are there even any answers to any of these questions? Okay, done for now with the questions part. Now, maybe we can move on to the answers part. Yes, answers, the hard part of the equation. Questions, the easy, lazy part. We all have questions, of one kind or another. We can all ask them, whether simple, profound, or just there, so easy to ask. But humans seem to be in the business of the search, always searching for answers, whether it be in mathematics, science, business, psychology, spirituality, and so forth. In every human endeavor throughout history, questions were the foundation for the march forward, no matter the answers. For we usually found some kind of answer to temporarily satisfy us. Or did we (oops another question, can’t seem to get around that)?
Psychopomp Anyone? (Part 2)
“You must free yourself. The magic is within you.”– Bruce K. Avenell
During the process of grieving the loss of someone close to us, many times the lost energy tie we have with them is what we are feeling gone. Of course, we have strong feelings for them, but also the loss of shared exchange energy is what we are feeling. Sometimes this may be an energy co-dependency break off we are responding to, and this is what we have to deal with. However, if you have been doing something to regularly replenish your own inner energy supply, such as a system of meditation, then this should serve as a buffer against such a shock on your energy system. This is another reason that both you, as a person who will eventually cross over, and this person you are grieving, should have been striving to sustain your own energy supply independently of each other.
Other negative situations can make the transition to the other side very difficult. People who were so wrapped up in their earthly possessions may not realize they have died or don’t want to accept the fact, and refuse to pass on. Or others may become disoriented and have trouble making the transition, getting lost in the astral dream worlds. Either person may remain attached to a familiar place, such as a house they once inhabited, or become negative nuisances to those left behind, actually ‘haunting’ these areas. Not letting go like this may cause one to appear as some kind of spirit, apparition, ghost or phantom. Or if a person died of a violent or quick death, they may remain in the general vicinity of the incident, not knowing what to do. Such stranded entities usually have a detrimental effect on the physical people they hang around, often attaching themselves to them. This can result in the energy being sucked right out of them, possibly causing physical, emotional, mental and spiritual problems over time. Before you become enamored with the idea that your relative or friend may still be hanging out with you from the other side, consider the possible negative consequences for both of you.
Psychopomp Anyone? (Part 1)
“When one door closes, another opens…but often, we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which is opened before us.” — Helen Keller
In one of my meditations of just under 10 years ago, a very strange thing did indeed happen. At that point I had been doing this meditation scene for over 30 years, and nothing quite like this had ever occurred before. After I had been into the meditation for only about fifteen minutes and just started to actually get somewhere, suddenly a woman was right there jutting her face in mine. Now I don’t mean physically, but at some spirit level. She presented herself in a way that it appeared she was involved with some kind of voodoo or black magic.
Immediately I was jolted back some, totally unprepared for this. But I kept my composure, as I wanted to keep the contact going, this being such a very curious thing. She was obviously quite irritated with me about something. As the contact progressed and we “discussed” this concern she had, I began to get a picture of what was happening.
Anyway, this is the story. Turns out, as she says, that she is a psychopomp. A what, you ask? Exactly. I had the same reaction. For a few moments in the early part of this contact I started to wonder if all this was the result of something I had ingested the night before and this was just a total hallucination. But I went ahead and decided to see this thing through.
CA or TX?
“Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life.” — Jack Kerouc
I have traveled in most of the states in America. I have lived in seven states, but mostly in just two of them. Texas and California. I have gone to college in both states. I have been married in both states. And I have two sons. One born in Texas. The other in California. I have made a film in California, and have plans to make another in Texas.
I grew up physically in Texas, and spiritually in California. Yes, I began my spiritual search in Texas, and continued it in California. In those early years when living in Texas, I used to travel to Mt. Shasta in northern California every summer. Eventually I moved to California, but have moved back and forth between them a number of times. Ever the wanderer, I guess I am a traveler at heart. How difficult that has been on my family (all of them?) I can only imagine. It seems to be my nature. So, what does this have to do with anything?
Well, I feel I have a pretty decent grip on what it is like to be, experience, and live among both Texans and Californians. But over the years I have perceived a bit of competition among the two states and their people. I’m not sure it is a bad thing, but what is is the unhealthy stereotypes many in each state has about the other. Why do I even care? Well, at first I found it somewhat amusing, but lately it just seems like unhealthy perceptions. And plus, it feels like watching your parents fight. You can see and understand what each one is saying about the other, but neither of them is listening to what the other is saying. A big of self-righteous pride on both sides. And I think that is where some of this stems from.
Holiday Spirit(s?)
“A good conscience is a continual Christmas.” — Benjamin Franklin
Of course, it’s that time of year again, when holiday cheer springs forth in gushes between friends and family, and yes even strangers, whether real or contrived in its intent or execution. Many times this involves overindulgence in substances we may only normally use in moderation at other times of the year. I for one gave up on all that activity years ago. However, I certainly understand its use and purpose. So, is there a point here? I think so …
Mostly though, this is just an observation on my part. I have watched many people over time use, overindulge, and abuse all types of substances that are supposedly partaken of to either make them feel better, drown their sorrows, or enhance social currency. There is no judgment here, as in my early life I was known for abusing all types of substances, both legal and not. Luckily I found a better way ‘to feel better’ and ‘feel high’ or how about ‘on top of my life in a better way’ that I don’t need those types of crutches. Ah yes, maybe there is a bit of unintended judgment here?
Well no, not really, for I really think, feel, believe, that there is a better way to get ‘those things’ we are trying to get from those substances. Life messes with us, throws us around, and can beat us down. So I think we are continually reacting to that, and continually trying to get back “up.” Then naturally, we try to find the easiest available ‘things’ to get back up there. And guess what; caffeine, alcohol, drugs, etc. are right there for easy consumption. I get it, but … for me, if I can find the time I feel much better taking an alternative action. And believe me, it isn’t easy, but oh my is it so much better for me. Obviously, in the end it is the decision of each of us what we must do, day in and day out when we are faced with these situations. It can be so easy for the ‘fast food’ solution. But is it the best, or even really useful or wise?