attitude
When I'm 64
“When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?”
‘When I’m Sixty-Four’ — The Beatles
I turned 64 last week. Is that old? I don’t think so; at least I don’t feel that way. I started this blog four years ago on my birthday thinking that maybe someone of my age would have something wise, relevant, and intriguing to communicate to … whoever, out there in the world. Not sure if I have proved that in any way whatsoever, but at least I have the opportunity to throw a bunch of stuff on the wall and see if anything actually sticks. I guess that would be up to you to decide all that, huh?
We all live our lives in relatively insulated bubbles of reality and illusion, sometimes wondering who we are, where we came from, what we’re doing here, and where we could be going. But mostly we carry on with our lives day to day, reflecting on how good or bad yesterday was, trying to deal with the challenges of the present, and hoping tomorrow’s sun will shine brighter. At times it seems life doesn’t give us the tools to understand what we should be doing in any given moment. Because oddly, the moment is all we ever really have, isn’t it? From moment to moment we traverse through this labyrinth of reality-illusion, with time continuously raging on in a totally relentless manner. Meaning there are no moments we can latch on to. For they are gone … in a moment. Moment by moment. So, what to do in each moment? …
A Spiritual Tribute, Part 2
“It is the energy of consciousness that one has come here to collect. This energy that drives all the parts of our being. Study it, pursue it, learn how to store it and conscious life will be eternal, and you will come to remember who you are and why you are here…” — Bruce K. Avenell
Well, I thought one posting about my meditation teacher who passed into the spiritual world more than three months ago would wrap that all up. But apparently there may be more to be said here. Funny thing though, if he knew I was doing this he’d probably scoff at me and tell me to knock it off. A few years ago I mentioned to him that he would make for an intriguing documentary film subject. He laughed, rolled his eyes, and only said, “Please, do not do that.” I of course will honor that request. However, he said nothing about his writings and teachings. And since I do not intend to write about him specifically anyway, as I said in the last post, I will only quote more excerpts from some of his other writings. Enjoy!
“Your beliefs hold you a prisoner in this realm’s dreams of TIME, ILLUSION and PARADOX…
A Spiritual Tribute
“You, a traveler on the road to life, but no longer afraid of death, no longer afraid of life. Knowing who you are and what you are about, perhaps even understanding what you did that suckered you into incarnating here on this most insignificant planet in a very plain galaxy, far from home and the mainstream of life…” — Bruce K. Avenell
An amazing spiritual being who I was lucky enough to know for almost 45 years passed from the physical and into the spiritual just a little more than six weeks ago. He left behind his failing physical vehicle so he could once again fly among the stars, where he seemed to truly belong. This posting will not be specifically about him, for I could not do him much justice in all that. I will leave that business to others. No, it will be about what he has left behind. And by left behind, his many wise writings and teachings for us to read, ponder, and consider. I will only quote excerpts from some of them, and leave it up to you in searching out anything more that may interest you about him and his teachings.
“Understand, this place is not our home. The being you are did not grow to the human level in the very short time that the planet Earth has been hospitable to this physical human life form. We are all wanderers in the great school of life. Some wander aimlessly, not realizing at all they are in a school. Some are assigned here to learn this. All in school, all learning. All learning to be yourself.
A Way In Up & Out
“A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself. The one produces aspiration; the other ambition, which is the way in which a vulgar man aspires.” — Marcus Aurelius
What about you? Do you have ambitions or aspirations?
When I was about ten years old I remember having an identity crisis. You may ask, how can one so young have anything that seems too serious going on, as if some type of existential crisis? I doubt from where I’m looking at it now, that it was actually too serious. But of course at the time it seemed so. Yet I do believe to this day that it set me on a course that led me to where I am today. And for me, that is important.
We only have moments as they are played out in our life, for the past is only a memory, and the future is only a hope, a dream, or a fear. But I think in those ‘important’ moments is where we set the sails for our life’s destiny. And that moment at ten was one of those ‘important’ moments. I don’t consciously remember how I comprehended that moment, but for the most part I do remember how I felt. And that is where I think the journey I am currently on actually started.
Spiritual Big Shots
“The West has become a heaven for spiritual charlatans … without the guidelines and criteria of a thriving and full-fledged wisdom culture, the authenticity of so-called “Masters” is almost impossible to establish.” — Sogyal Rinpoche
Have you noticed how many people these days boast about some type of spiritual, self help, or self improvement type of system or program they are selling? And of course, how great they are, and how great their program will make you. Hhhmmm, yes indeed, you probably do detect a note of skepticism in my point of view here. I certainly do pride such skepticism as an ingredient to a healthy attitude, as long it does not get in the way of anyone’s ongoing progress.
Yes, our ongoing progress. Now, how does that work exactly? Exactly, is exactly the word. Meaning there is no perfection, no exactness, no wonderfully magic formula to spiritual growth and progress. No matter what all the spiritually self-important big shots say.
When I first began searching for a spiritual path, system, whatever, in my late teens I felt somewhat desperate. But I realized early on not to make such an important decision while in a hyper emotional state. Calm, relaxed, and focused discernment I felt would serve me better, even if not always easy to accomplish. So, I did not take the first spiritual prescription that happened along. My search wound up taking over four years, which granted is not very long in the span of a lifetime, but when you are young, impatient, and almost frantic, it sure seemed like it.
Altitude & Attitude - An Answer?
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” — Abraham Lincoln
An answer? An answer to what, you might say. Well first, let’s get some definitions out of the way, and see if any kind of answer is the right approach here.
1. Altitude is defined as a distance elevation or an angular measurement, mostly in a vertical or up direction, between a reference point and another point or object, usually based in a particular context, such as aviation, astronomy, geographical, geometry, or sports, and commonly used as the location height above sea level.
2. Attitude is defined usually in aeronautical, artistic, or psychological terms. In aviation, it means the inclination of the principal axes of an aircraft relative to the wind or the ground, or the orientation of a spacecraft in relation to its direction of motion. In the arts, it is a specific ballet position, and for a painter or sculptor it is a position or gesture by the figure in their artistic piece to communicate a particular mood or emotion. In psychology, it is a person’s mental (cognitive) and emotional (affective) perspective, tendency, orientation, manner and/or behavior towards people, ideas or other specified targets or objects.
Doorways: Push or Pull?
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” — Socrates
A while back I was having terrible meditations. Nothing was working and nothing was happening. I realize that in some meditation systems that that is part of the point, but for Audinometry, the sound current meditation system I practice, that is not usually the case. It is a very active set of inner exercises, a bit like juggling between mental and spiritual gymnastics.
Anyway, this went on for days and days, which then became weeks. I tried all kinds of things. Every technique I knew about. Every technique that usually got me out of anything like this. I started doubting everything. Myself, the people around me, the world in general. I was in trouble and it seemed there was no cavalry in the distance. My attitude was in the toilet, and I starting not caring if it got flushed down the pike.
Those weeks became more than a month, and I had just about forgotten what a good meditation was. And I knew I was in trouble when I just gave up and didn’t care at all anymore. But because I didn’t care I did nothing. I just raised my hands. Walked off. Gave up. Who cares?
Simple Humility
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” — Ernest Hemingway
I think we could all probably do with a dose of humility on more regular occasion than we actually practice it.
Every morning for the past forty plus years I have tried to take the time to sit down and meditate. But sometimes now it seems to be more out of habit than anything, until I have an experience or set of experiences that remind me how important it is.
At times as I sit in the solitude of my own being I can sense what a tiny speck in the vastness of creation I am. Then my ego may chime in and disagree and start tooting my horn about my greatness. I sit back and observe this goings on, sometimes chuckle a bit and then try to comprehend what is actually going on.
Many spiritual teachers (as well as mine) have spoken about how this world is essentially a grand illusion. As if we are inside a virtual reality simulation, running for our mutual, what? Amusement? Demise? Actually, it seems like it’s probably a school of some kind. A type of precursor or test to see what we would do if actually presented with all this in our world, as if it was real. How would we act? How would we treat others? How would we treat the world? How would we treat ourselves? How would we do on the test?
Azmirenda
Trekking, even at times floating, upstream along the banks of this vibrant stream,
I reflect upon how simply generous today has always been.
Up ahead this so vibrant stream fed from a simple, still, and silver pool,
and nourished in the far sky by the setting of a burning, white hot sun.
In the distance a waterfall gushed from behind a long, dark shadow,
and I wonder, yes oh wonder, what secrets it must hide today.
Yet I know in this pristine moment it’s time to align my lower self and my higher self,
and my heart, my mind, my spirit, my soul, my very being,
within the ears and eyes of a principle, singing consciousness of high creation.
For now tomorrow shall be even more wondrous inside this eternity’s dream.
And then a dragon stuck her head from behind that long, dark shadow,
and into the silver light before me, as I fearlessly faced her eye to eye,
she smiled slightly, signaling her helping spirit,
and welcomed me into creation’s eternal land of happiness.
And she said her name was … Azmirenda.
And then I told her mine …
TMC
My Spiritual Adventure, Part 3
“In the great silence within your being, creation ever sings its song of life for you.” — Bruce K. Avenell
As I write this third (and final) part to this 3-part blog posting, I realize this is nowhere near any type of end, as I’m sure I could write a book or two on this all encompassing subject. But this is not the time or place for that … yet. So, as I try to wrap this up to some type of point, I want to stress that what follows is just a general condensing of what my spiritual path has been these past 40 plus years. Of course, there will always be other blog postings that reflect what this has all been about. After all, that is the main point of this blog. Anyway …
I think the best way to go into this is to write about what I may have actually learned these past four decades, meditating under the system taught by The Eureka Society, which is called Audinometry. It is an advanced system of sound current meditation founded by Bruce K. Avenell, who had been a student of both Dr. Baghadt Singh Thind, a Sikh guru, and Kirpal Singh, of the Sant Mat tradition, both interesting characters in their own right. You can do research about both of them if you like, as there is plenty of material out there.