Main Mystic
Belief vs. Experience
“A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.” – Samuel Clemens
Is there an amicable meeting ground between one person’s religious beliefs and another’s spiritual experiences? Or are these worlds and the people who inhabit them just too different, too much in conflict? I know this is a tall order, but I would like to explore that a bit here. Now right off I want to make it clear, this is not going to do an anti-religion diatribe here. That wouldn’t be fair, because it’s too easy, offering the target rich environment that they do. Obviously, that doesn’t mean I won’t take religion to task. No, I am trying to communicate what I think I might understand here. Ha, isn’t that how it always is? We think we know more that we do, but then we probably know more than we realize. Is that a paradox? Is that what I’m diving into? And maybe the questions I ask here are some evidence of a paradox in operation?
Anyway, here is my personal conundrum. Every once in a while I get asked about the religion I practice. Actually, and I want to state this emphatically, I do not practice any religion, any philosophy, or any belief system, at all. Does that make me an atheist, or a malcontent? Of course not. I just don’t adhere to the doctrine and dogma fed to the masses via the ‘recognized religions’ of the world. I know there are much larger forces and beings at work in the Cosmos than little ol’ me. Then the next question comes, but what about the spirituality that you sometimes talk about? My answer usually doesn’t soothe them, because it falls outside the normal parameters of religious belief. I answer that I base my spirituality on my own personal experiences. Uh, oh. Most just nod politely, not quite knowing how to take that. A few, I wish I could see their thought bubbles, because I’m sure they are priceless. A small percentage do engage with me beyond that, but don’t usually follow me too far. Such nonsense seems to be beyond the horizon of many. But I am not perturbed, insulted, or even concerned with all of that. It is the norm and I accept that. However, over the years I have seen more movement in my direction in this, so I am hopeful.
Jeffrey & Jonathon
“The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose.” – Garrison Keillor
As I’ve mentioned before, I come from a large family, being the oldest of seven children. I certainly didn’t know that when I decided to incarnate in that particular family that six more would follow me. I guess my parents must have seemed like a desirable set of parents from the other side. Not only that, every one of our names started with a “J”. Not quite sure what that was about, but I don’t think it was an issue with any of us.
Out of the seven of us, two of my siblings are no longer with us in the physical world. Jeff (on the right in the pix) and Jon (on the left) have departed and moved on. They were number 3 and number 4 in the birth order, and they exited way before their time.
I have stories about both that I would like to share. Families have always been complicated worlds to explore. They involve so many dynamics and provide so much material to consider, that no wonder they have been the subject of so much writing, art, music, drama, science, etc. throughout the ages. But of course, there is one major reason above all. Families are the very basic foundation for all of civilization. Without their proper functioning and growth, there can be no civilization. None whatsoever.
Revolving Wombs & Tombs
“Reincarnation is a way for God to improve his earlier works.” – Norman Mailer
At first I had a hard time mentally accepting the idea of past lives. There didn’t seem like any real logic to it. I mean actually, the idea had some coolness about it. How hip could it be that we been revolving in and out of this place for, what? Centuries? Eons? So hey, we’ve probably seen and done all kinds of things, right? It fit right into the sixties thing, so yeah man, it was cool. But coolness and logic were different things, and they were locking horns inside me. I guess the whole thing made me feel eerie.
But hey, I was only in college at this time, and I didn’t need to figure it out right now. It had only come up because I started reading all these books on metaphysics, trying to understand what these experiences I was having were all about. And most of them got into the reincarnation thing. I didn’t care about that; I just wanted to know what the hell was happening to me.
As I read more and more, I realized I needed to find a teacher of some sort, someone to guide me through some of this. I wasn’t interested in the eastern guru paradigm. Somehow paying allegiance, homage or devotion to someone like that just didn’t feel right for me. More like someone who had experience (way?) beyond mine who was more like a teacher at a university who you just took a class from, with a more distant relationship akin to that. I didn’t want someone to hold my hand, just someone who could point at a road that maybe I should try. But the more I looked, the harder it seemed to find someone like that. Most of them were so into their own trips, it all seemed fake to me.
Creation’s Elevator
“Who are you? … How have you joined creation?” – The Watcher Rock, ‘Dreams Awake’
The first time I truly experienced the elevator I had a little over ten years in. Meaning I had been meditating on the inner sound current that long. By this point I had had some pretty intriguing experiences, but nothing like ‘the elevator’. Now yes, I had been lucky enough to taste a bit of it. In meditation, when I finally got relaxed enough and out of the mind raps, I would feel like I was starting to go up in an elevator. And just as I would anticipate what was going to happen, the elevator would stop abruptly before it really got started, and there was no more going up. Basically because as I did the anticipation routine, that tension locked me up. So I did learn early on that tension was a buzz kill for meditation. Which was a bit of a catch-22. You needed to relax to get into meditation, but you needed to meditate to relax. It seemed there was a balance somewhere in there to find.
So, when that grand elevator day came, I wasn’t expecting it. Ha, see…no anticipation. It was one of those days that you could never forget. If I live to be a hundred and my great grandkids hop upon my knee, I would still be able to speak coherently about the first time I traveled up inside creation’s elevator. I have since had the experience numerous times, and even in more expansive, exciting ways. But you always remember the first time, so I was no longer a spiritual flyer virgin.
No Other Film …
“Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.” – Henry David Thoreau
… is like “Dreams Awake.” Like it, love it, hate it, indifferent about it, whatever … you will never ever come across another film that has the elements this film does. I personally guarantee it. That may seem like a boastful statement, but I firmly believe it. If anyone wants to challenge me on it, come right ahead. Because right here, right now, I am coming out of the closet about the content of this film.
This film is not completely fiction. Some of these things have happened, are happening, will continue happen. I know, another crazy bold statement to make. But I can back it up. People I know, as well as myself, have had many of the experiences referred to in the film, and many other similar types of experiences. Without the dramatic story that ties it all up, this could actually have been a documentary.
When I got the very first inklings of this story, I actually did not intend for it to go in that direction. It was as if the film had its own life, its own momentum, and its own magic. I cannot completely explain it, but I can attempt to relate it to you. Right here. Right now.
Wired Up & Down, Part 1
“The march of science and technology does not imply growing intellectual complexity in the lives of most people. It often means the opposite.” – Thomas Sowell
In my humble estimation the worst invention in the history of humankind was the television set. It was the beginning of a hypnotic march towards unbridled voyeurism, insidious sedentary-ism, and cloistered groupthink masquerading as expressive individualism. The countless modern distractions now take so much away from a rich inner life that it only leaves us drained, and longing for more and more media to fill the sagging emptiness, day in and day out. We have been duped once again, fair people. And the enemy is us.
Yes, it all started out so innocently. Those 50’s TV sets were such fun new novelties where our families could sit around and watch their favorite shows together. And yes, actually it was a logical outgrowth of radio’s popularity. I know I certainly had fun growing up in the fifties and sixties watching my favorite shows, or whatever I was allowed to watch. Because back then we were limited how much we could watch, because it always seemed we had so many other things to do.
Next thing that came were color TV’s, and bigger TV’s, and then cable, because early on we only had the three main networks, and eventually PBS. So as time marched on, more and more stations, and more shows, and longer hours. And VCR’s came along and we could record shows and buy videos of moves to watch on TV. More and more distractions. And guess what else? Drama. More and more drama in our life. If dealing with our own daily dramas wasn’t enough, now we got inundated with all these other dramas to keep us enthralled. But what else? Colored, distracted and tensed out, we demanded more. For why pay attention to our boring little lives when we could tune into something much more intriguing, and falsely satisfying? Why eat real, nutritious fruit with a blemish on it when we can have perfect-looking plastic fruit we can watch but don’t really have to eat? So safe and distant, but so alluring and demanding.
Finer Moments
“Life is eternal, and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.” – Rossiter R. Raymond
Exactly twelve years ago today was not a happy one for me. But it was quite instructive. Debbie, my wife of 17 years, and the mother of my two sons, passed from the physical world and into the next one. She had been fighting cancer for four years, and the battle had just taken too much of a toll on her body. That actual day she passed is still very vivid in my memory. Her mother, our two sons, and myself were present at her bedside. She had chosen to be at home when this happened. Within an hour after she left and when the funeral home was taking her body for cremation, I suddenly saw her standing in the area connecting the dining room to the living room. Now of course, I’m talking about her ‘spirit’ presence. And I didn’t see her with my physical eyes, but my spiritual sense of sight. She seemed to be floating about two feet off the ground and she looked radiant, but with this puzzled look on her face. Then she spoke to me in my mind, wanting to know what all this fuss was about.
The Fear Machine
“He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don’t buy it. Not only don’t I buy it, I just didn’t, and don’t, get it.
So, you ever notice how the world seems driven by fear? Gotta work harder and faster to pay all those bills, because if I don’t I’m afraid I won’t be able to eat, have shelter, or find a suitable partner to couple with, and then I’ll die. Gotta hunt more or grow more foot so I can eat, or I’m afraid I’ll die. Gotta kill those other people over there or I’m afraid they’ll take my land, and then I might die. Gotta get more stuff, or I’m afraid I won’t have enough stuff, and then I could die. Gotta do this or that, or I won’t have this or that, and that means I’m gonna die. That’s what it comes down to, right? Being afraid we might die, right? Because we got all these things so we don’t die. And if we die, oh my, we’re dead and gone, and never ever more trips to Oz.
Like I said, I didn’t, and I don’t, buy it. We’ve been sold a bill of goods, all based on fear.
A Longer Wheel
“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow chinks of his cavern.” – William Blake
Being our first year at college was certainly the last thing on our minds that weekend night. After having partook of the latest entertainment chemical mix, the four of us guys drove around like crazy. It should be logical that flying high and speeding around in a hot car don’t mix. But having a flat tire on top of that didn’t bode well for the rest of evening.
The first thing we did was not to look for the jack, but to lie back in a field looking up at the stars. I had never seen the night glow like that, nor the stars dance so much. And yes, on top of all that, it happened once again.
As I flowed into the ebb and flow mixture of the nightly lights and spheres, the ripping pressure in my chest pulled me away. And the rising sensation totally changed my perspective. My gyroscoping point of view shot fear throughout my body. My physical body, which I was no longer a part of. Now I found my ‘self’ shooting towards the heavens, completely out of and away from my body. And I heard that damn ringing sound again. Oh hell.
The Lower High Way
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” – Joseph Campbell
What a drag high school could be. Or maybe it was just school in general. Or maybe it was because by the time I reached high school I had already been to six different schools. Six schools in nine years, through eighth grade (counting kindergarten). And then high school came around, and I was in three schools in four years. So a total of nine different schools in my 13 years of public education. Yeah, that was probably it. Not much stability in that. And then add to that that I was a shy kid, so not much else for me to be but a loner. But I got used to that, even though I was in a large family. So, as the oldest of seven kids, I pretty much kept to myself. But oddly enough, I got good grades in school, but looking back now I think it was because it was too easy. I rarely felt challenged, and I just floated through with not a lot of effort.
My main escape was my own imagination. And boy could I put that into overdrive. At eleven and twelve I remember hording comic books and going into the closet with a flashlight, closing the closet and reading comic book after comic book. And flying away with my heroes to other worlds. And no one in family really knowing where I was. But then by the time I was 14, I found a Playboy magazine and everything changed. Even, of course, the direction of my imagination.