When I'm 64

“When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?”
‘When I’m Sixty-Four’ — The Beatles

I turned 64 last week. Is that old? I don’t think so; at least I don’t feel that way. I started this blog four years ago on my birthday thinking that maybe someone of my age would have something wise, relevant, and intriguing to communicate to … whoever, out there in the world. Not sure if I have proved that in any way whatsoever, but at least I have the opportunity to throw a bunch of stuff on the wall and see if anything actually sticks. I guess that would be up to you to decide all that, huh?

We all live our lives in relatively insulated bubbles of reality and illusion, sometimes wondering who we are, where we came from, what we’re doing here, and where we could be going. But mostly we carry on with our lives day to day, reflecting on how good or bad yesterday was, trying to deal with the challenges of the present, and hoping tomorrow’s sun will shine brighter. At times it seems life doesn’t give us the tools to understand what we should be doing in any given moment. Because oddly, the moment is all we ever really have, isn’t it? From moment to moment we traverse through this labyrinth of reality-illusion, with time continuously raging on in a totally relentless manner. Meaning there are no moments we can latch on to. For they are gone … in a moment. Moment by moment. So, what to do in each moment? …

Despite my relatively youthful old age, I have learned a few things over the years that do serve me on a regular basis. First, I never learn anything by talking. Have you ever closely watched someone who goes on and on about all kinds things and never stays quiet? Of course, they already know it all, have nothing to learn and will certainly let you know so (I say facetiously). The thing is, I sometimes do learn something from them, just by listening. Oftentimes though, I don’t always need what they are selling. Maybe not everyone considers life a school, as many do. And so they are not intent on learning much. However, I have a feeling they are probably learning things, just maybe in a different way. So I guess there is no room to judge here. Yet, I must also say looking at this from the other side of the coin, that if you want to teach and allow others to learn from you, then this may be the way for you to go.

Second, I learn best by just listening. I never considered myself a great listener of the normal physical world, in the beginning. I have usually lived a fairly rich internal life, full of imagination and possibilities, and so have always been considered an introvert. It was never that I was ever listening very closely. It was usually that I was so engaged into what was going on inside of me (listening inside?) that the outer world seemed a tab bit uninteresting. So I paid minimal attention to it. But as you grow up and the world forces you to participate, you had better engage, or it will leave you behind … relentlessly. And so you learn to come out of yourself as the world requires, but hopefully still listening inside to balance it all out. Because it’s not just about listening outside, but inside.

Third, progresses from the second, implying one should just listen doesn’t always mean one is always hearing. Hearing is yet another skill that seems to take a while to develop. I can listen and not hear. But if I don’t listen, I can never hear. Hearing involves being engaged in the listening, mainly meaning comprehending what you are listening to. And then, if required, eventually doing what needs to be done to complete that life’s lesson. Maybe to see how valid it is?

Fourth, learning about, understanding, and knowing one’s self may be the hardest yet most important accomplishment anyone can do with their life. If you have not at least attempted this, I would go so far as to say that possibly your life is not very successful. I am not judging anyone here, because I have no idea who has or has not done this. This will probably only be something you will know for yourself, so be fair, objective, and critical with yourself. Yes, you should “know thyself,” because I think everything else good that can flow into and through your life will be fed by this.

Fifth, is related to the fourth. And something I have learned in the meditation system that I have been practicing for many years. “Be center stage in your own life.” “Think for yourself.” I think both of these are almost as hard as the fourth thing, but they come more naturally if you can master that so difficult fourth thing. Most of you probably know what I mean by those two statements, but in case you’re not sure I will only briefly clarify (I do not want go into a lengthy self-righteous diatribe about them).

“Be center stage in your own life.” This may be obvious, as we certainly need to be focused on ourselves and our own life just to deal with what life dishes out to us on a regular basis. But so much of the time other people close to us (and some who are not) pull us into so many different directions, that we often come near last in giving ourselves the attention we deserve. Of course we want to be there for the people who mean something in our lives, but to keep a safe balance with ourselves we just have to be selfish sometimes. So much to be learned about this.

“Think for yourself.” In the end, of course we must do this. We are the only ones who have a unique perspective of our own lives. No one walks in our shoes like we do. And many of our observations, perspectives, experiences, decisions, consequences, and learning progressions are unique to us alone. So only we can really assess and work through our own life’s timeline, and all that goes with that. This can be very difficult, as people always seem to want to influence us about something. Now taking in other perspectives is healthy if you need more information about your situation, but in the end you have to figure out how to assimilate that and do what is best for you.

Again, I don’t see how you can do these two things very well if you are not on the path to mastering number four (Know thyself). If you’re not interested in knowing yourself, then never mind. This obviously is not for you. If you’re not in that ballpark yet but want to be, then there is a great and amazing adventure ahead of you! If you’re working hard at it and feel you are making progress, then congrats! Just be sure and give yourself a big pat on the back, hug, or kiss (or whatever you do in these situations), because you have earned an applause from the universe!!

Again, I’m just 64, so take all this with a grain of salt. Just be happy in your ongoing adventure!

TMC