Psychopomp Anyone? (Part 2)
“You must free yourself. The magic is within you.”– Bruce K. Avenell
During the process of grieving the loss of someone close to us, many times the lost energy tie we have with them is what we are feeling gone. Of course, we have strong feelings for them, but also the loss of shared exchange energy is what we are feeling. Sometimes this may be an energy co-dependency break off we are responding to, and this is what we have to deal with. However, if you have been doing something to regularly replenish your own inner energy supply, such as a system of meditation, then this should serve as a buffer against such a shock on your energy system. This is another reason that both you, as a person who will eventually cross over, and this person you are grieving, should have been striving to sustain your own energy supply independently of each other.
Other negative situations can make the transition to the other side very difficult. People who were so wrapped up in their earthly possessions may not realize they have died or don’t want to accept the fact, and refuse to pass on. Or others may become disoriented and have trouble making the transition, getting lost in the astral dream worlds. Either person may remain attached to a familiar place, such as a house they once inhabited, or become negative nuisances to those left behind, actually ‘haunting’ these areas. Not letting go like this may cause one to appear as some kind of spirit, apparition, ghost or phantom. Or if a person died of a violent or quick death, they may remain in the general vicinity of the incident, not knowing what to do. Such stranded entities usually have a detrimental effect on the physical people they hang around, often attaching themselves to them. This can result in the energy being sucked right out of them, possibly causing physical, emotional, mental and spiritual problems over time. Before you become enamored with the idea that your relative or friend may still be hanging out with you from the other side, consider the possible negative consequences for both of you.
You will find that the state of being in which someone lived may be what they find when they cross over to the other side. For example, if they lived their life confused and in some kind of a fog, they may find themselves in a fog on the other side. If they were tied up in negative type lifestyles, that is what they will find on the other side. If they can’t let go of their earthly attachments, they will feel themselves tied to being here, but with no place to go but down. If they were tied up and overcome with negative emotions, such as fear, guilt, lust, envy, jealousy, etc., those emotions will consume and trap them in the lower realms. In other words, what you have been doing in the physical world helps to create the state of being you live in on the other side. So, you create your own heaven or hell. The potential for either, or various states between, are all within you.
Even though you do help create your own destiny on the other side, there are places on the other side, a sort of purgatory if you will, in which you can try to sort things out, get your act together, and move on the more positive places. But it would be better if you did that before you left the physical world, because your energy gathering abilities work much better with a physical body. And as we’ve seen, the energy can certainly help put you in a better place before you go.
I don’t want to present the idea that the well-documented grieving and bereavement process is not appropriate for us all to go through. We are all probably aware that there are a number of overlapping stages we go though in dealing with our grief. Of course this is a healing process we all need to go through when we lose a loved on. The concern here is only that during this process we can possibly hurt and cause pain to the person we are grieving. I’m not going into the grieving process here, as there are much better resources to learn all about that, but more concerned with some of the spiritual and energetic consequences of this heavily emotional process. I know that we cannot push ourselves through this process in a swifter and more timely fashion, as I wish we could. We each have to deal with this in our own way and in our own time. My main motivation here is to make sure we are informed in as many of the least apparent aspects of the process as we can be.
Many of these common emotions of grief, guilt, fear, anger and other possible unresolved emotions keep people who need to move on attached to being here in the physical world. Whether we are feeling these emotions or the people who are leaving feel them, we all have to let go in order for a positive transition to occur.
We must learn to deal with grief in a more positive, balanced way, whether you are preparing others for your departure, or you are helping to prepare them for their departure. It does seem that people who have really prepared for their passing have a much easier transition to the other side.
Learning non-attachment in order to let go of loved ones when the time comes, is a very important and usually difficult lesson and progression for all concerned. You need to send them off with all the love and support you can give, for in the end it comes down to a real test of your unconditional love for them. Often times, it is a competition of your wants vs. their needs. Your wanting them here vs. them needing to go. And at this particular time, what is good for them should be weighted in their favor.
Unconditional love should be the guiding force and principle here. This love can fill us up and free us from the bondage of conditional love. This is a love you must give with no expectations in return, for it comes with no attachments. You must generate this love in your life, not require it or expect it from others. It is its own reward, and your loved one who needs to pass on certainly needs it where they are going.
The ancient Roman philosophers had the motto, “Do good, for good is good to do.” In other words, good deeds are their own reward. Unconditional love is like that. You should not expect any reward from it, only that it is the right thing to do and the right way to be, especially for the loved ones in your life at this time in their transition.
Also, if you are too distraught in your mourning, resulting in your lower energy state, that will make it much harder to have any contact with them on the other side. The higher you are in your being will help facilitate any contact you may want to have later. Besides, there is a very good chance you will see them again anyway, whether in the afterlife or in another incarnation.
I want to briefly mention here the idea of using psychics or similar type persons to try and contact your loved one on the other side. For the most part I think this is a wasted effort, as there are all types of charlatans out there who are perfectly willing to take of advantage of you in your mournful state. There is also the question of their accuracy, and the spiritual damage they can do.
What I suggest you do instead is this. Examine your reasons for wanting to do this. If it is because you are emotionally distraught and can’t let go of them, then your motives are not helpful for the departed. If you are trying to make sure they are okay, that is more noble. The point being, if it’s just for you, then don’t do it, yet. If it’s for them, then maybe. For awhile after they pass away, they are in a vulnerable situation in going through their transition, and they don’t need you making it harder on them. If you still want to pursue this, I suggest you wait three to six months. But instead of going to some kind of psychic or medium, try to do it directly yourself. There’s no point in bringing an intermediary into the process, especially someone they don’t even know.
How do you do this? You first practice some type of energetic meditation system to get your own energy and focus towards the inner realms. And yes, the doors could very well open up for you. It is possible to do, but you must be objective and non-emotional, or it will be hard on them. Okay?
In the end, the termination of physical life should not be looked at as a tragic event. Thinking of their best interests with unconditional love, you should throw them a big party and celebrate their release from this world’s hardships. You need to send them on their way with an upbeat attitude, joy and happiness. Remember the good times with them, and tell fun stories filled with laughter. This will help send them on their way, in a positive framework and with positive energy.
The heavy, somber traditional funerals create quite a bit of fear, guilt and sadness in most people’s minds, making them reflect on their own inevitable day of departure. This is not the type of memory or image we should leave with the people behind. Especially children, who may not know any better. Let’s promote something more positive and uplifting for them at the end.
An alternative ceremony is the way to go here, one that is a Celebration of Life. It is what the rest of us can truly do for the ones who cross over before us. We should break the culture of morbid, ceremonial death funerals. We need a party with their favorite jokes, stories about them and fun events. We should remember the best about them, keeping an upbeat, positive attitude, which can help aid them on their journey crossing over.
I want to briefly address the issue of cremation vs. burial here. Cremation has been around for quite a long time. It was only with the influence of organized religion that burial became more prevalent. Cremation has been making a comeback as of late and it is more preferable from a spiritually practical point of view.
First of all, cremation is much more spiritually beneficial to the departed. It allows them to make a cleaner and more succinct disconnection from the physical world, helping them take that next step into their transitional phase of crossing over.
Second, the barbarism of open casket funerals is very difficult on the departed, as the emotionally traumatic focus by the people left behind can be a real energy drain on the departed.
Finally, if the departed is having trouble breaking attachments in the physical world, having the physical body still around as a point of focus does not help them make the transition. It only makes it more difficult for them. So, cremation is the best choice and the one that is highly recommended. In fact, having the cremation done as soon after the passing as possible would be the best way to go.
One of the best preparations for leaving physical life is to have had a well-lived life. So once you’ve prepared for your passing, live life to its fullest. Bear in mind, it is a privilege to be allowed to incarnate here, and enjoy everything this place offers. Leaving the physical with that in mind and having lived your life here, you should feel better about leaving and moving on. There is no death, just a change of life. So with all the senses available to you in your exploration of life, experience everything you can while you are here. It’s why we’re here! Life should be cherished, and death should not be feared.
TMC